Dion Phaneuf is happy and other propaganda...

DION PHANEUF IS HAPPY HERE IN CALGARY, AND LEAD BY HIM, THEY WILL DESTROY ALL OPPOSITION! THE STREETS WILL RUN RED YADA, YADA, YADA


A fairly brisk news week in the NHL, from Dion Phaneuf asking for a trade coming out to tell everyone he is happy in Calgary and doesn't want a trade. Given the circumstantial evidence (stick smashing, coach-face yelling, etc.) you can't blame who ever came up with the story. But the Flames have come out and quashed the rumour cold. So shame all of you, for believing this. Heh.

In other goings on:
- The Flyer's Daniel Carcillo recieved a $2500 fine from the league for a hand gesture that shall not be used at the Leafs bench during a 6-2 Flyers win. Carcillo made the gesture after scoring a shockingly skillful goal to put the Flyers up 3-0. After the game he mentioned that he did the gesture to let the Leafs know "You'll never see me score a goal like that again!"

- The Leafs season is not lost after all, as head coach Ron Wilson discovered the reason for so many Leafs losses: the media. "It all makes so much sense, and we have felt this way for a long time, now we have the proof" said new Leafs PR director Glenn Beck. He then went on to detail how Toni Lydman was actually born in Yemen, so people should lay off Vesa Toskala

- When the whole Theo Fleury comeback thing came out this summer, so many people thought that the Flames should have given him the chance to play, based on his efforts in the preseason. Apparently, so does Theo

- How to make friends and influence people by Nikita Filitov

And in keeping with our editorial position, we don't care what Sean Avery did. He's still a douchebag.